Parent Information

Practical Advice for Parents 

On Preventing Child Sexual Abuse 

A Resource Provided to You Through the Protecting God’s Children® Program 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Parenting is the most influential responsibility an 
adult undertakes in life. It is also the one job for which adults receive 
the least amount of training. Society expects parents to know what 
to do, to always take appropriate actions, and to behave daily in a 
manner that provides a wonderful role model for their children. 
However, society does not provide parents the tools and skills they 
need to live up to these expectations. The National Catholic Risk 
Retention Group, Inc., provides parents with this free handbook to help 
them focus on practical steps designed to help protect children from 
sexual abuse. This handbook was produced for our Protecting God’s 
Children program as a part of our VIRTUS® programs. 

The first step to protecting children from sexual abuse is educating parents about the nature of the problem. 
Awareness about child sexual abuse—what it is and who commits it—opens the door to some simple steps 
parents can take to protect children. No one has more at stake or a more vested interest in protecting children 
than the people who gave them life. Awareness, education, and responsible parenting give a child the best 
tools for her or his defense—and the child may be more likely to tell an adult if something happens. 

The Protecting God’s Children program is designed for adults in our faith community—to raise their awareness 
about the nature of child sexual abuse, to educate them on how to recognize the warning signs, and to train 
them about what to do when they suspect a child is being victimized. The program includes awareness 
sessions, videos, web-based training modules, online training bulletins, and other programs specifically 
designed to assist parents and other adults. 

The first of two centerpiece videos, A Time to Protect God’s Children, presents an accurate, clear, and 
effective introduction to the subject of child sexual abuse. Awareness usually gives rise to the question: “What 
can I do?” The second video, A Plan to Protect God’s Children, trains adults to recognize some of the primary 
symptoms of child sexual abuse and what to do if a child reports abuse. 

We recognize that parents need practical advice. Parents bear the primary 
responsibility for the safety and well-being of their children. Here are some 
practical actions that parents can take to help protect their children from 
sexual abuse: 

1. By virtue of their physical size, adults have power over children—and that 
increases a child’s vulnerability. For example, parents and other authority 
figures teach children to “obey adults.” When children hear this message, 
they may interpret it to mean that all adults have the authority to tell all 
children what to do, all the time. If this is a child’s interpretation, then the 
message has created additional vulnerability for the child. Yet, some simple, common sense steps can help 
minimize a child’s vulnerability. For example: 
§ Do NOT insist that children hug or kiss relatives or friends. Let children express affection on their 
own terms. 

Practical Advice for Parents on Preventing Child Sexual Abuse, Copyright 2003 by National Catholic Services LLC. All rights reserved. 1-630-725-0986, Page 1 of 3 


§ Let children know that their feelings are important to you. Intervene if you notice that your child is 
uncomfortable doing something that another adult asks him or her to do. Let the child know that you 
will protect him or her from this discomfort. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you should let children 
off the hook when it comes to doing their chores or cleaning up a mess they’ve made. 

2. Learn to recognize and take advantage of teachable moments with children. Be willing to openly discuss 
sensitive issues. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the following age-appropriate 
conversations with children: 
§ From ages 18 months to 3 years—begin teaching children the proper 
names for all body parts.

§ Ages 3 to 5 years—teach children about private body parts and how 
to say “no” to anyone who touches them in a way that makes them 
feel uncomfortable. Give them direct answers to questions about sex.

§ Ages 5 to 8 years—talk about good touches and bad touches, and 
safety away from home.

§ Ages 8 to 12 years—focus on personal safety issues. 

§ Ages 13 to 18 years—discuss issues such as rape, date rape, HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases, 
and unintended pregnancy. There are also professionals in the community who can provide assistance 
with forming age-appropriate responses to children’s questions and concerns. Remember, regardless 
of the child’s age: Take advantage of teachable moments. 

3. Games are a great way to reinforce the lessons you teach your children about safety issues. For example, 
children are always asking parents, “What if?” Using this same game, parents can raise their own concerns 
and encourage their children to think and make decisions relying on the lessons they have learned. 
4. Teach children to say, “Stop it,” to instructions that might encourage them to do things that they really do 
not want to do. Reinforce the rule that children should say, “Stop it,” to requests or demands that make 
them uncomfortable, even if they think they should obey. A discussion of these rules can teach a child that 
there are some times when it is okay to say, “Stop it,” and other times 
when it is okay to go along with the instructions. Everything hinges on 
context. Parents must teach their children how to discern between an 
appropriate request and an inappropriate request. 
For example, it is appropriate to follow the instruction to “Be nice,” as long 
as the instruction is within an appropriate context, such as, “Be nice and 
don’t throw things at the other children.” But, tell children it’s okay to 
disobey this request if, for example, someone says, “Be nice and take 

off your clothes.” 

5. Know where children spend their time. Get to know the adults who show up at the various locations in the 
community where children gather and where they play together. Be wary of any adult who seems more 
interested in creating a relationship with a child than with other adults. Pay attention when an adult seems 
to single out a particular child for a relationship or for special attention. Warning signs include treats, gifts, 
vacations, or other special favors offered only to one specific child. 
6. Make unannounced visits to the child’s nursery, babysitter, daycare center, or school. When choosing a 
nursery, daycare center, or school, make sure that there are no areas where children play or work that 
are “off limits” to parents. Taking these actions raises awareness among caregivers, and reinforces the 
responsibility they have for the safety of the children in their charge. 
Practical Advice for Parents on Preventing Child Sexual Abuse, Copyright 2003 by National Catholic Services LLC. All rights reserved. 1-630-725-0986, Page 2 of 3 


7. Find out if the child’s school or church religious education programs include a sex abuse prevention 
curriculum. If not, volunteer to be on a committee to establish such a program. Work with teachers to 
review available programs and make recommendations to school administrators. Talk with other parents 
about supporting the addition of child sexual abuse prevention material to existing child safety programs. 
Do NOT allow a child to go alone on “vacation” with any adult other than 
the child’s parent. 

Do NOT allow a child to spend the night alone with any adult other than 
the child’s parent or another safe adult.i 

Except in the case of a serious emergency, Do NOT allow a child to 
travel alone—even for a very short distance—with any adult other than the 
child’s parent or another safe adult. You should also prohibit children from 
accepting expensive gifts from an adult, particularly if one child is singled 
out for special attention. 

Parents can make an important difference. However, without a supporting organization to help bring together a 
community’s resources, experts, and commitment, parents are limited in their ability to impact community-wide 
child abuse prevention. That’s where we can help. 

The Church can join with parents to build a society where children are no longer at risk of being sexually 
abused, where those who have been victimized can find the resources and courage to heal, and where all 
people live together in loving, supportive relationships. 

Resources: 

Child Sexual Abuse: What It Is and How to Prevent It, American Academy of Pediatrics, 1999.
Adams, C., and Fay, J., No More Secrets: Protecting Your Child From Sexual Abuse, Impact Publishers, Ninth Printing, 1991.

Practical Advice for Parents on Preventing Child Sexual Abuse 

Copyright © 2003 by National Catholic Services, LLC (National Catholic), P.O. Box 3197, Lisle, IL 60532, 1-630-725-0986. All 
rights reserved. National Catholic created this document for use by parents who participate in our programs. We invite you to print 
complimentary copies for yourself and for other adults who directly care for your child. Otherwise, photocopying or transferring this 
document in whole or in part is a violation of federal copyright law and is strictly prohibited without the express written consent of 
National Catholic. National Catholic provides neither spiritual solutions to individual problems nor legal advice to its clients. Readers 
should seek the advice of a spiritual director or attorney regarding individual questions or legal advice. 05/03 

i “Safe adult” is a special designation used in the VIRTUS Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Program for Parents and Guardians to describe adults who 
have demonstrated that they behave in a safe manner when interacting with children. 

Practical Advice for Parents on Preventing Child Sexual Abuse, Copyright 2003 by National Catholic Services LLC. All rights reserved. 1-630-725-0986, Page 3 of 3